Pissing Off a Skylark
by ChasingParadise
Summary: All he really needs are his illusions, inspiration, and some talking/singing pineapples. Then he's good to go. Oh, the poor, poor skylark. Rated T because Mukuro is an evil troll.
1. Hibird

Pissing Off a Skylark

**A/N**: Hellooooo, awesome readers of this fanfic!

Just weird, messed up, silly little shorts about ways to piss off our favorite Cloud Guardian. ~Enjoyyy~

**Disclaimer**: Akira Amano owns Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Obviously, I'm not Akira Amano. Therefore, I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. –dejectedly curls up in a corner-

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: Hibird<strong>

"Hibari! Hibari!"

Hibird flew in through the cracked window, circled around the disorderly room, and landed on the shoulder of the lone figure in the room.

"Oya oya, what do we have here? That Vongola Cloud Guardian's cute little birdy, eh? Hmm…" he mused, a glint coming to his heterochromatic eyes.

"Kufufu, what to do, what to do…"

* * *

><p>"Hibari! Hibari!"<p>

The leader of the Discipline Committee looked up from his desk to see his little companion flying in through the window.

"Hn."

"Hibari! Hibari!" it chirped, hopping onto Hibari's head, and nestled into his raven black hair.

The Cloud Guardian secretly smiled, glad that Hibird was back after a few days of absence. He had missed his fluffy friend throughout the week.

The two sat in silence, with only the occasional sounds of shuffling papers and quiet chirping.

Hibari leaned back with a quiet sigh, the paperwork for the day completed. Stretching, he stood up when…

"Kufufufu…"

He whipped out his tonfas and held them ready, quickly glancing around the room for any sign of the owner of that annoying laugh. When he detected nothing, he slowly lowered his tonfas, confused. He was sure he heard…

"Kufufufu…"

Again! That infuriating laugh!

He whirled around, moving his gaze around the room. Once again, he saw and detected nothing. Not a trace of that infuriating illusionist.

"Kufufu…" came from right behind him.

Hibari growled, knowing he had him for sure this time, and spun around, ready to strike. But was immediately confused- and irritated- once again.

Behind him, there was only Hibird, and no one else. No annoying pineapple head, no multicolored eyes, nothing.

The irritated skylark growled in frustration, knowing that bastard Mukuro Rokudo must be toying with him. Hibird hopped up to his shoulder, nuzzling the frustrated boy's cheek.

"Kufufu…"

Startled, Hibari's eyes widened just a bit.

He stared at Hibird.

Hibird gazed back at him innocently.

"Hibari!"

"Damn that pineapple bastard," he spat out, storming out of the Reception Room, tonfas in hand.

Hibird flew out the window, going towards Kokuyo Land. Maybe that nice pineapple would teach him some more fun things to chirp.

"Hibari! Hibari! Kufufu…"

* * *

><p>I couldn't resist. :D<p>

How could I not start off with the cute little fluff ball? I love Hibird. He's so adorable! Why did Hibird go to Mukuro? Because I wrote it. Oh well. I really don't know. Is this entertaining? Yes? No? Gah. I'm not a funny person. But I tried.

More sillyness coming soon.

Review please! I wanna know if you guys found this entertaining or not.


	2. Theme

Pissing Off a Skylark

**A/N: **Hey there~ So, during all my classes, I was brainstorming a list of things that could piss off Hibari. I carried around some Post-its all day, just so I wouldn't forget anything… Sigh. That's depressing. I have no life…

Anyways, I got a whole bunch of new chapters that I'm going to post regularly, so yeah…

Sorry, one last thing. I realized while I was thinking of ideas that Mukuro's probably going to show up A LOT, since he's like one of the only people that would willingly piss off Hibari… (and get away with it)… so… Yeah. Sorry if you're not a fan of Mukuro.

Sorry for any spelling, grammar, and other mistakes. I was too lazy to proofread this. ^^;

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. If I did, it would be a failed manga. And it wouldn't have its own anime. So let's be glad that Akira Amano owns it.

And without further delay, here's Chapter 2 of Ways to Piss Off a Skylark!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Theme<strong>

"Midori tanabiku namimori no…"

The song that was quite familiar in Namimori was heard overhead at approximately one in the afternoon. If anyone curious enough bothered to look up, they would have seen a yellow ball of fluff flying overhead, carrying something in its beak.

* * *

><p>When Hibird reached his destination, he flew in through the shattered window he had become familiar with and perched on a head that had a striking resemblance to a pineapple. His delivery a success, he chirped happily a few times, bursting into song once again.<p>

As he listened to the bird sing, Mukuro smiled. Oh, the fun he would have.

"Kufufufu…"

* * *

><p>Hibari Kyoya was getting annoyed. Not quite pissed off, but definitely losing his cool.<p>

First, it had been his phone. He'd left it in the reception room on his desk, and when he'd come back from his first morning patrol, it had mysteriously disappeared. Kusakabe and the rest of the committee members denied having seen it when they went inside the reception room.

His mood worsened when that Sky herbivore tripped and fell just as Hibari rounded the corner. They'd collided- Hibari had been pondering over where his phone could have gone, so he'd been distracted- and both fell to the floor in a heap. Tsuna's face had been entertaining to see, as his face went from shocked to scared to panicked when Hibari whipped out his tonfas and growled, "Herbivore, I'll bite you to death."

Tsuna ran away much too soon for his satisfaction, screaming all the way.

Also, there was some new transfer student coming in a week or so, and the principal had asked him- the Leader of the Discipline Committee- to look after him. Baby-sit him. That did not make Hibari a happy birdy.

Hibari walked silently down the empty hallways. School had just ended, and he was determined not to leave until he found his phone.

He rubbed his head and sighed. Today had been a long day, and all he really wanted to do was go home and sleep. But he had to find his phone.

As he neared the Reception Room, he heard a faint song.

"Midori tanabiku…"

Eyes widening, he slammed the door open. He looked around quickly, thinking maybe it was his phone, but then spotted Hibird, and sighed with disappointment.

He walked over to the cute bird and asked him, "You don't happen to know where my phone went, do you?"

"Hibari! Hibari!"

His yellow companion suddenly flew up, revealing the phone he had been sitting on.

Hibari sighed in exasperation, wondering why in the world Hibird had his phone. He decided not to ask.

The Cloud guardian pocketed his phone and walked away, presumably going home.

* * *

><p>As Hibari was walking downtown, he heard an odd but familiar song. It was very creepy and mysterious and yet…<p>

As the mysterious music kept playing, Hibari was getting annoyed. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the song reminded him of something that really got on his nerves.

Then, realization struck- it was that music that always mysteriously played when that annoying pineapple head appeared.

The irritated Cloud started emitting waves of pure irritation, scaring away all of the people who had been shopping downtown. The townspeople knew him. They knew what would happen if he was in a horrible mood. They didn't want to be there when it happened.

As he kept walking, he wondered why the stupid music wouldn't stop. In fact, it seemed to be following him. Did that mean….

He whipped out his tonfas and quickly observed the scene around him. He was almost out of the shopping area, and there were less buildings and people around. He detected no sign of the Mist guardian.

And yet, the music continued. He growled in annoyance and stopped, trying to pinpoint where exactly the music was coming from. His eyes narrowed as he realized the music was coming from…

… His pocket?

Hibari quickly took out his phone, only to confirm that the song was coming from his phone and that he was getting a call from an unknown caller.

The dark aura that had been swirling around him suddenly grew impossibly larger. What idiot besides that pineapple would steal his phone and change his ringtone, especially to that annoying song?

Hibari wanted to chuck his phone away, but remembered he was getting a call. So he flipped open his phone and said through gritted teeth, "Hn."

"Oya, oya. Look who finally decided to answer his phone… Kufufufu…" a familiar voice chided. It was a voice that Hibari really did not want to hear right now. "So how did you like your new-" _**CRACK!**_

No more was heard as Hibari, reaching his limit, gripped the phone so tight that it completely broke into pieces.

"…That… Damn… Pineapple…" he spat out angrily. "I'm going to bite him to death!"

He was also annoyed at the fact that it was probably Hibird who had given that bastard access to his phone. He frowned. Did his little companion like that indigo haired bastard better than him?

Growling, he ran all the way to Kokuyo Land.

* * *

><p>Metals clashed.<p>

Creepy laughing was heard.

The dark auras were overwhelming.

The residents of Namimori had a sleepless night.

* * *

><p>Hibird flew around, singing happily to himself. He was glad that his friend's ringtone had been changed. He was getting quite tired of it.<p>

* * *

><p>Hello~ What'd you think of this one?<p>

I'm sorry this was sooo much longer compared to the first chapter. The words per chapter probably aren't going to be consistent.

Anyways… Yeah. Haha, so I was listening to Mukuro's theme like the whole time while I was typing this up. And I have to say, I might have gotten a just a tiiiinyyyy bit creeped out and scared. Even though all the lights were on. And it was still bright out. ….. Hehe.

And one last thing.

Thanks SOOOOO much to: **TheMcgabster**, **mangaadict26**, and **AmaiShinjitsu** for reviewing my first chapter! You guys are totally awesome! :)

Be back soon with another chapter for my wonderful readers!~ Please review!~


	3. Watch Out For UFPs

Pissing Off a Skylark

**A/N: **Hiya hiya! How're you all doing? Me? Oh, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. :P  
>Anyways, yeah. I'm back with another chapter for you guys! –cheering and applauding-. Yes, yes, thank you, thank you. :)<p>

Sorry for any mistakes.

So yeah. Here it is. Watch out for flying pineapples.

**Disclaimer: **Is the sky blue? Yes. Is the grass green? Yes. Do I own KHR? NO. STOP BEING A SMARTIE PANTS.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: Watch Out For UFPs (Unidentified Flying Pineapples)<strong>

It was another seemingly normal day in the town of Namimori. The sun was out, the air was nice, the children were playing, the grass was growing, pineapples were plotting and scheming… Wait. Scratch that. Just one pineapple in particular.

And he's not an _actual _pineapple. He just happens to have a freakishly similar resemblance to one.

But don't tell him that face to face. Not unless you want to wake up in some unknown jungle- no, not unless you don't want to wake up tomorrow morning. Period.

Anyways, this pineapple was plotting something (yet again) for our favorite skylark, which was never good. But this pineapple just didn't care. Messing with the skylark lately had been quite entertaining, so he was by no means about to stop just as he was getting started.

And today, he had been struck by a sudden bolt of inspiration.

Well, actually, it had been a pineapple.

"Kufufufufu…"

* * *

><p>It was lunchtime at Namimori Middle, and the students were milling around, hanging out with friends, and complying to their growling stomach's wishes.<p>

The rule-enforcing leader of the Discipline Committee was relaxing on the empty rooftop, listening to Hibird singing his favorite song.

"Midori tanabiku, Namimori no..."

Hibari smiled, enjoying the bliss and quiet of the empty roof. No whining herbivores, no loud yelling that got on his nerves, no bastard pineappl- _THWACK!_

He took that back. There were annoying pineapples.

...Literally.

As he examined the fruity projectile that had hit his head, he tried to sense if anyone was around. He couldn't feel anyone's presence. Then, maybe it was an illusion?

The annoyed Cloud guardian growled. Why was that stupid illusionist bothering him so much lately? He would have to go to Kokuyo Land and bite the basta- _THWACK!_

The menacing aura that always surrounded him grew. That was never a good sign.

* * *

><p>As the irritated skylark moved through town to Kokuyo Land, he was constantly attacked by a barrage of pineapples.<p>

When he stepped out of school, another five flew his way.

As he walked through the neighborhoods, another fifty came flying at him out of nowhere. They were now multicolored, and with the most annoying color schemes possible. Hibari spat. At least they couldn't get worse.

Oh how wrong he was.

* * *

><p>He reached the limit when he was practically running through the streets of the shopping district. He had yet to be attacked again by the flying fruits when-<p>

"Kufufufu"

"Kufufu"

"Kufufufu"

The poor skylark wanted to scream. The pineapples that were speeding toward him had the face of that stupid illusionist on them, and what made it worse was that they were all chuckling at him, just like Mukuro would.

That was it.

He smashed all of them to pieces.

But the stupid laugh still echoed quietly in the air.

Hibari slammed his tonfas on the ground.

* * *

><p>Somewhere far, far, oh so very far away, out of the reach of biting tonfas…<p>

"Kufufufufufu…"

* * *

><p>The next day, Hibari was patrolling around the shopping district, still angry about yesterday, when he bumped into someone.<p>

Tsuna's eyes widened in terror when he saw who he had bumped into. In a panicky voice he started rambling.

"A-Ah! Hi-Hibari-san! Ahahaha, fancy meeting y-you here! I was j-just about to go to that ne-new fruit st-store," he stuttered, "My mom he-heard that they were having a sale on tr-tropical fr-fruit! So-" he stopped in terror as the skylark's eyes narrowed.

Tropical fruits…

Tropical fruits…

Mangoes…

Bananas…

Coconuts…

Papayas…

PINEAPPLES.

"NO." he (almost) yelled out.

* * *

><p>Reborn was very amused to find his dame student come home that day bitten to death by his Cloud guardian, and estimated he would be sore for another two week or so.<p>

Wow, it was a record for the skylark.

Tsuna crashed into bed and kept mumbling about fruits and birds, groaning in pain.

He vowed to never mention fruits in front of his Cloud guardian again. Ever.

* * *

><p><strong>This came to me in a sudden burst of inspiration. And no, I wasn't hit by a pineapple. Hope you liked it~ :]<strong>  
><strong>Oh, and I put up a poll on my profile if I should do another fanfic like this one.<strong>  
><strong>Please go and vote!<strong>  
><strong>I'll be back soon with another chapter, Please Review! If you don't, who knows, maybe you'll be attacked by creepy chuckling pineapples too! Kufufufufu… :)<strong>


	4. Scarred for Life

**Pissing Off a Skylark  
><strong>_Chapter 4: Scarred for Life_

**Sorry in advance for any grammar/spelling mistakes.  
><strong>**Disclaimer: Not mine. There.**

* * *

><p>Today, it was most definitely <em>not <em>a normal day in the town of Namimori.

In fact, it was the scariest thing that the poor residents of the town would ever live see in their (not-so-normal) lives.

The events of today were to never be talked about, mentioned, or remembered again.

Ever.

Doing so would be committing a grave, unspoken crime, and would be punishable by all of the residents within hearing area breaking down and running after you.

Not fun.

* * *

><p>Mukuro Rokudo had an idea. A brilliant one.<p>

Unfortunately, he would have to throw his pride away and have it stomped on like dirt, but it would be worth it in the end.

"Kufu- Oh wait, that's not it. Hehehe~"

Might as well get some practice.

Oh, he couldn't wait.

* * *

><p>Hibari Kyoya stirred from his sleep, the smell that invaded his nose causing him to rise. It was the smell of… breakfast?<p>

The Cloud Guardian jolted awake and ran downstairs to his kitchen, ready to bite any intruder who dared to cook in his kitchen to death. The sight he saw made him hope that he was still in bed, having the most horrendous nightmare ever dreamed.

It was _Mukuro_…

In his _kitchen…_

Making _breakfast…_

And humming an _annoyingly _catchy song…

But worst of all, the thing that made the poor prefect want to run upstairs to his bed and never open his eyes again was….

The fact that Mukuro was wearing a pink_… _frilly_… apron… _Complete with white _hearts._

When Mukuro saw the skylark in front of him, he immediately put a on a bright, cheery smile and said in the most sickeningly sweet voice possible, "Ah~ Kyo-chan~ Good morning!"

There was an aura. A freakin' pink aura with little flowers swirling about. It was worse than that Sasagawa girl's.

'Kyo-chan' turned pale. Then green. Then ran out of the kitchen, trying to erase the horrors he had seen and heard in the last two minutes.

Mukuro giggled. Phase One was complete.

* * *

><p>Hibari staggered out of his house, breathing in some fresh air. He had gotten ready for school in record time, and ran out before he could catch a glimpse of the… <em>horror<em> in his kitchen. However, he hadn't even stepped onto the street when…

"Kyo-chaaan!~ You forgot your lunch! And how could you leave without me~?"

Hibari froze and turned around for two seconds before mentally screaming at himself. _Why, oh why, had he turned around?_

The Mist Guardian was on his doorstep, still wearing that… that… thing, waving around a bento wrapped in some purple cloth. What made it worse was the fact that he was pouting.

Yes, Mukuro Rokudo, the feared Vongola Mist Guardian, was pouting like an elementary school girl.

The prefect turned and ran like the devil was on his heels. Technically, he was, in the form of Mukuro Rokudo. As much as he wanted to bite the bastard pineapple to death for invading his house and scarring him for life, he couldn't. He couldn't get close enough to bite.

The aura overwhelmed him to the point where he wanted to faint.

He kept running and didn't stop until he reached the school gates.

Unfortunately for him, Mukuro wasn't going to be left behind, and glomped the poor prefect as soon as he caught up.

Startled, shocked, and scarred for life yet _again, _Hibari jumped and pried the gushing pineapple off of him.

"Nn, Kyo-chan~, why'd you ditch me~?"

Hibari just didn't care anymore, aura or no aura. He was going to bite him to death. Painfully. His murderous aura rose to the point where Tsuna, who had just woken up, could feel the chilly aura seeping through his window.

But unfortunately, he had underestimated Mukuro's aura. He had raised his tonfas to bite Mukuro, but the pink overwhelmed his murderous intent, and he fell to the ground.

* * *

><p>The students of Namimori Middle School were scarred for life that day, as they had seen the Leader of the Discipline Committee being hugged, glomped, and chased by a man with what looked like a purple pineapple on his head. It was the most shocking thing they had seen in their lives, and they never wanted to remember that pink aura that swirled around the stranger.<p>

Hibari's murderous aura grew impossibly larger and larger all day as he was attacked by the pineapple. The reactions of the rest of the Vongola hadn't helped either.

* * *

><p>Angrily stomping through the streets of the shopping district, the skylark made his rounds, desperately hoping there were some delinquents he could bite to death. He needed to release the stress that had built up inside him, thanks to the illusionist.<p>

No such luck. It seemed that everyone was aware of his dangerous mood today, and had chosen to be good little angels. They certainly did not want to die today.

The prefect stormed around, trying to avoid the stupid pineapple who was trying to shower him with affections.

Hibari gritted his teeth as he heard said pineapple behind him, yelling out in a sickly sweet voice, "Kyo-chan~ Wait for me~"

Everyone stared. Not for long though, once they saw the scary prefect shoot glare at anyone he found gawking at him.

Then… _It _happened.

* * *

><p>Mukuro was getting quite bored. He needed something more to his plan. He had noticed that there hadn't been any delinquents around today, so he thought, <em>Why not?<em>

* * *

><p>"Kyo- Wah!"<p>

There was a thud, and Hibari whipped around, sensing an evil aura.

_Finally, someone to bite to death._

The sight that he saw put him in a dilemma. Mukuro was on the ground, being pushed around by four big, grinning gangsters. They were roughing him up a bit, and bit by bit, started to get rougher and more violent. As much as he needed a punching bag for his stress levels, it would be better if someone beat up the bastard pineapple for him. He stood there, and made his decision. The bastard deserved some punishment.

He was about to walk away and forget all about it when he heard the delinquents start talking.

"Hey, he's even weaker than that other wimp."

"Hah, yeah. Those Namimori wimps are such losers. I didn't think we'd find anyone who could be even weaker than them."

Hibari gritted his teeth at this and stopped walking away. He wouldn't save Mukuro. Even if those punks beat up a Namimori student. No way would he-

"Haha, Namimori's such a trash school. They're all so weak."

Losing all control, Hibari snapped. He whirled back around, stormed up to the delinquents, and coldly said, "For beating up a student of Namimori and insulting Namimori, I'll bite you to death."

It didn't even take him five seconds.

When he was done, he quickly tried to get away from the pineapple, but no such luck. Mukuro gushed at him with big, adoring eyes.

"Kyo-chan! You saved me from the scary delinquents!"

"Idiot pineapple, I didn't do it for you, I was-"

"Oh, thank you so much!"

With that, he quickly wrapped an arm around the skylark…

…And planted a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Everything froze. Hibari lost all of his thoughts for a few seconds.

After regaining his mind, he replayed what just happened in his mind and totally lost it. He had been scarred beyond repair.

His aura swelled up, his eyes flashed, and he started growling.

Everyone within a 10 kilometer radius fainted from the overwhelming pressure of his murderous aura.

As he was chasing after the illusionist, who had finally dropped the act, he didn't notice that the unconscious bodies of the delinquents had just disappeared without a trace, as if they had never existed.

"Kufufufu… It was fun playing with you today, Kyo-chan."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: 0.o… That was really long. Sorry about that.  
><strong>**So, what'd you think? ****Poor Hibari, a girly Mukuro is probably worse than being stuck in a room with 10 Lussurias. As I was writing this, I kept imagining Mukuro acting like this, and… yeah. –Shudder.- I just hope that Hibari or Mukuro won't come after me.  
><strong>**Yeah… I hoped you enjoyed! **

**Please review~**


	5. A Little Trip

Pissing Off a Skylark  
><em>Chapter 5: A Little Trip<em>

**Sorry for any mistakes in grammar, spelling, etc etc. You know, the usual.  
><strong>**Disclaimer: Rainbow Cookies! Oh- Katekyo Hitman Reborn isn't mine.**

* * *

><p>The Vongola Cloud Guardian walked quietly through the streets toward Namimori Middle School, casting wary glances all around him. It had been a week since… The Pink Aura incident, and he was still cautious and on the look out for the illusionist that haunted his dreams. (He was cautious, not scared. Of course not! Hibari Kyoya does <em>not <em>get scared of anything, even … clingy… pink… aura... illusionists…)

As he got closer and closer to his beloved school, he started to relax bit by bit. He didn't think that the bastard pineapple would be bothering him anym- _BAM!_

The skylark felt his foot being tugged out from under him, and he fell to the ground face first, arms flailing and legs desperately trying to regain their balance.

It was a perfect face plant, one that even Tsuna would have been jealous of.

He quickly got up, keeping his indifferent expression, and dusted himself off while glancing around to see if there were any witnesses. Seeing no one around, he looked down to see what had tripped him- because Hibari Kyoya does _not _just trip for no reason.

Looking at his feet, he found the reason. Oh, his shoelaces were unti-

… His shoes didn't _have _shoelaces. At least, they hadn't had shoelaces this morning when he'd put them on.

Slowly, he bent down and tugged the thin, black laces to make sure they were actually there. They were.

The prefect was bewildered, but masked his face with indifference anyway. He decided to just ignore them, but he tied them just to make sure he wouldn't… fall again. He set off towards the school once making sure that the odd laces were tied.

As he neared the school, he saw Kusakabe standing in front of the gates. It was still early, so no students were coming to school yet.

Kusakabe spotted his leader and greeted him.

"Kyo-san!"

He started walking up to Hibari, who replied with a "Hn."

When Hibari neared his second in command, he was going to keep walking, but…

… He tripped, knocking over the other and face planting into his hair. He discovered that day that Kusakabe's hair was surprisingly soft and fluffy.

Eyes widening just a bit, he quickly jumped up and walked away as if nothing had happened. As he did, he realized that his stupid shoelaces were untied once again. Mentally cursing, he bent over and tied them again, this time double knotting them.

Kusakabe, who got up slowly, said nothing, knowing that saying anything could result in him ending up in the hospital yet again. He started at his leader's retreating back. _… Did Kyo-san get new shoes?_

* * *

><p>"HIEEE! I'M GOING TO BE LATE!"<p>

The familiar cry rang through the streets near Namimori Middle, and the students who were safely inside the school nice and early chuckled at the dame-ness.

Tsuna, with his gravity defying hair flying and legs pumping, turned onto the street and saw the familiar gates of his school.

"I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna-"

The familiar bell rung, announcing his doom. He was just a meter away from the gate, but he was still late. Glancing left and right, his eyes widened in panic and fear as he saw the feared prefect approaching him.

"Herbivore, for being late to school, I'll bite you to death"

"HIEEEE! HI-HIBARI-SAN!"

Tsuna tried to run past him into the school, but no such luck. Hibari lunged at him, tonfas swinging. Just as his weapon was about to make contact with the crying face, the onlookers witnessed a shocking sight.

Hibari Kyoya faceplanting.

It was pretty hard to keep a straight face since seeing the powerful prefect _face planting _of all things was so absurd, but Hibari's glare took care of that.

The skylark was getting annoyed. It was those stupid shoelaces again- for the third time! He jumped to his feet, gave a few glares for good measure (causing some students to go running off to find a change of pants) and quickly strode off to the Reception Room.

Today was not going to be a good day.

* * *

><p>The rest of the Cloud Guardian's day went pretty much like this-<p>

Trips while patrolling during 2nd period. Reties shoelaces. Irritation at 25%.

Trips while chasing some delinquents who were smoking behind the school. Does a face plant. Tries to unlace shoelaces- fails. Irritation at 48%.

Trips while walking up the stairs to the roof. Tries to cut up shoelaces- fails. Irritation at 69%.

Trips while getting up out of his chair. Tries to take off shoes completely and throw them out the window- fails. Irritation at 75%.

Trips while trying to bite some herbivores to death for crowding. Tries to burn shoelaces- fails. Irritation at 84%.

Trips while standing still. Angrily kicks everything he sees, trying to beat the stupid shoelaces- fails. Irritation at 98%.

So on and so forth.

* * *

><p>After being humiliated several times throughout the day because of the stupid shoelaces, Hibari was on the verge of explosion. He'd tried everything, from burning them to beating them up (along with the poor victims who suffered his kicks) to cutting and even… never mind. For his pride, what he tried to do to those shoelaces will not be revealed.<p>

Anyways, it was near the end of the school day, and the skylark was now pissed off. A lot. He was finishing up his paperwork in the Reception Room, trying to think of a way to get those stupid, evil shoelaces off of his shoes when the room began to swirl.

He instantly bolted to his feet, tonfas out, ready for anything.

What he wasn't expecting was hundreds of pineapples of different shapes, sizes, and colors bobbing all around him, all chuckling and saying the same thing.

"Kufufufu…Do you like your new shoes?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Gah. I don't know about this one. Help me out here. Anyways, hi there. I really hope you'll give me some feedback, 'cause I really don't know anymore. Are you being entertained? I hope so…**

**Well, I'll be back on Monday (Maybe Tuesday) with a Halloween special! Yay~ Look forward to it please~**


	6. Just a Trick

**Pissing Off A Skylark  
><strong>_Chapter 6: Just a Trick._

**Sorry for any mistakes, grammar, spelling, blah blah.  
><strong>**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

* * *

><p>"Oya, oya, what an interesting tradition," a voice chuckled with his eyes glued to the TV screen. He munched on some of his pineapple flavored chips, deep in thought.<p>

"… Hrmm… Dressing up and playing tricks, what an interesting thought... Kufufufu… My dear Nagi~" he called out.

* * *

><p>Tsuna felt a shiver go down his spine as he was attempting to do his math homework. Oh, why couldn't math solve it's own problems, he already had enough of his own to solve!<p>

_Ding dong!_

He heard the sound of his mom opening the door, and friendly chatter. He wondered who was here.

"Tsu-kun~! It's your friend!"

Gokudera-kun? Yamamoto? It couldn't be, they were both busy today. He got a bad feeling as he went downstairs, and he nearly keeled over when he saw that the one in front of his door was none other than Mukuro-san.

"Mu-mu-mukuro-san! Wh-what brings y-you here?" He was crying inside. Seeing the illusionist standing calmly on his doorstep was not a good sign- DEFINITELY not a good sign.

"Kufufufu, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Am I that scary to you?" He chuckled. "I just came to ask a favor."

His eyes glinted, and Tsuna gulped. Beckoning the terrified brunette to come closer, he whispered in his ear. Tsuna turned paler and paler at what his Mist Guardian was asking him to do. But just as he was about to refuse, a few threatening words caused him to shut up again.

"… _Tropical fruit… Math homework… Lambo…" _were some of the whispers that could be heard from the mouth of the devil pineapple.

"HIEEE! I-I'll do i-it, Mu-Mukuro-san!"

He grinned.

* * *

><p>"What! Hell no!" Gokudera shouted in protest. "No way am I gonna-"<p>

"You're precious Jyuudaime is doing it. And it would be horrible if you, as his right hand man, didn't do it together with him. In fact, he was really relying on you to do it with him," Mukuro stated with an innocent gaze.

Immediately, the Storm Guardian perked up, eyes glistening. "If Jyuudaime's counting on me, of course I'll do it!"

Mukuro wanted to laugh at his stupid loyalty.

* * *

><p>"It'll be another fun game."<p>

"Hahaha, then sure!"

Mukuro blinked. Well that was easy.

* * *

><p>"SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT THIS WILL BE LIKE EXTREME TRAINING?"<p>

Wincing, Mukuro replied, "Yes. …Extremely."

"I'M EXTREMELY IN!"

* * *

><p>"Neh, neh! So if I just do this, I get a whole buncha grape candies? Really?" Lambo drooled, eyes sparkling. "GIMMEEE!"<p>

Holding the boy- and his drool- away from his at arms length, Mukuro smirked. He was ready.

* * *

><p>The leader of the Namimori Discipline Committee was making his usual first period rounds when he saw someone walking into a classroom, his back turned to Hibari. He immediately sped forward to bite him, not for being late, but because it was him. The hair proved it. How dare he intrude his precious school, and during school hours! It had to be-<p>

He jerked open the door, ignoring all of the terrified stares that came from the students of the classroom. He scanned the room, scrutinizing every little detail, but there was no bastard pineapple in sight.

Confused, he quickly shut the door and continued making his rounds, terrifying every student that dared to walk the hallways during class.

He thought Mukuro was just playing another illusion trick on him. Oh how wrong he was.

* * *

><p>As soon as the door slammed shut, Tsuna let out a huge sigh of relief. Thank goodness he had hidden it before Hibari-san saw.<p>

* * *

><p>As Hibari was making his rounds again during lunch period, he passed by the baseball field, where the baseball team was goofing around.<p>

He blinked.

Was that…

He blinked again, and gritted his teeth in annoyance.

He was either seeing things, or that illusionist was playing tricks on him _again._

* * *

><p>The baseball team members stared at their ace, wondering why the hell he had just pulled a purple pineapple out of nowhere, put it on his head, and whipped it off after a few seconds.<p>

"Hahaha! That was fun!" He grinned.

Cue sweatdrops.

* * *

><p>Turning a corner, the skylark walked into the library, wondering whether or not he was going crazy. He was absolutely sure that he sensed no illusions, and that he'd seen the pineapple hair, but when he had looked again, there had been nothing there. He sighed. Maybe he needed a cup of tea. He'd have to ask Kusakabe to brew him some.<p>

As he quickly walked through the library on the look out for any trouble makers and noisy herbivores, he passed a row of shelves and saw a flash of purple and mismatched eyes out of the corner of his eye. But when he looked again, it was just that Storm herbivore, studying with his glasses on.

He stared for a second or two, and, shaking his head in annoyance, quickly strode out of the library.

* * *

><p>As soon as the prefect left, Gokudera sighed. Thank goodness the glint of his glasses had hidden the mismatching contacts. He quickly popped them out and threw them into the trash along with the stupid wig.<p>

"Jyuudaime will be so proud of me!" He sang, ignorant to the stares of the students around him.

* * *

><p>Hibari angrily stomped through the hallways, his dark aura of fury swirling around him. He wasn't sure what to think anymore, but he was certain that the stupid pineapple had something to do with it.<p>

As he passed the open door of the boxing club room, he caught a glimpse of a purple pineapple doing crunches on a bar and shouting "EXTREME TRAINING!"

He realized that the only person would say- shout that, so he didn't even bother to check if he had been seeing things.

* * *

><p>"EXTREME TRAINING ACCOMPLISHED! NOW TO DO 100 MORE, TO THE EXTREME!"<p>

* * *

><p>The skylark sighed. The school day was over at last, and he was just finishing up the last of his papers for the day. He tidied up his desk and walked out of the Reception Room, softly sliding the door shut behind him.<p>

He massaged his temples. Today had been an annoying day, as he'd seen the stupid pineapple everywhere. It irritated him to no end.

Suddenly, he heard loud footsteps in front of him, and looked up.

His eyes widened.

There, in the middle of the hallway, was a little purple pineapple, running around in circles and singing about… grape candies?

The mini pineapple looked up, and Hibari noted with disgust that he was drooling.

"Ah! Grape candiessssssss!"

The mini pineapple suddenly flung himself at the skylark, who was taken by surprise. The purple head latched onto his leg, and Hibari shuddered in disgust as he felt his pants getting wet from the immense amount of slobber that was coming from the pineapple.

He tried to kick, pry, punch, and hit it off, but nothing worked. It stayed latched on, refusing to let go and screaming about grape candies.

Finally losing his cool, he whipped out his tonfas and bit the pineapple to death, sending him flying out the window.

"MY GRAPE CANDIESSSSSSS!"

Wrinkling his nose in disgust, he slowly shook his slobber-covered leg and quickly walked out of the school.

When the world around him swirled and creepy chuckling was heard, he smiled grimly. It was time to get his revenge.

As the real pineapple bastard appeared in front of him, he growled, "Pineapp-"

Only to be stopped when something was thrown into his mouth.

"Kufufufu… Happy Halloween."

The startled Cloud Guardian quickly spat out whatever was in his mouth, but it was too late. His eyes narrowed as his brain processed what the thing tasted like.

… Stupid pineapple-flavored candy.

* * *

><p><strong>Haha, I told you guys I'd have a Halloween chapter for you. My friend Shopaholic 3547 would've killed me if I hadn't updated again… ehehe. (Check out her Varia Fic. It's totally awesome, and 100000 times funnier than mine.)<strong>

**This is the kind of chapter that happens when I'm totally tired and my feet are in immense pain. Stupid trick or treating. And yes, I still trick or treat. Mwahahaha. Candy, Candy~ Poor Hibari. ;] Being tricked and not treated? Awww.**

**Ugh, and one more note. Could you guys tell me if my summary is good or not? I like change it almost everytime I update (haha) because it's like, horrible. Help me out a bit here? :D**

**Be back soon with another chapter~**


	7. A Bad Hair Day

**Pissing Off a Skylark**

_Chapter 7: A Bad Hair Day._

**Sorry for any mistakes, blah blah. You guys know the usual.  
>Disclaimer: Mmm. If it was mine, there would be no need for this whatsoever, neh?<strong>

**0000000000000000**

Hibari Kyoya woke up one morning with the top of his head feeling funny. He'd forgotten to dry his hair last night, maybe it had dried in a weird way. Shrugging, he got ready and went to school, not noticing that all of the mirrors that had been in his house the night before had mysteriously vanished.

**0000000000000000**

The prefect was talking to Kusakabe about some of the delinquents' recent activities, oblivious to the way the baffled second in command was staring at him. When he finished talking, he finally noticed the stares. Was his hair that bad?

"Something wrong, Kusakabe?" he asked, eyes narrowing just a bit.

"No-Nothing Kyo-san." Kusakabe stammered back nervously.

"Hn."

The skylark walked away, leaving Kusakabe still staring, but also deep in though. Lately, some strange things had been happening regarding his leader. He shuddered as he tried to keep the flashbacks at bay- the pink aura, the new shoes… Now this…

Shuddering again, he said to himself, "…_Definitely_ don't want to know."

**0000000000000000**

The Vongola Cloud Guardian growled. He'd been getting stared at _all_ morning, and he was a bit miffed. Of course, he'd taken bitten the ones that had stared full strength- he'd heard someone whisper to his friend something along the lines of "… Hibari… Bad hair day…" and that student was now in the hospital, where he would stay for a month. Unfortunately, he was still getting stared at subtly as he walked through the hallways.

He wondered. Was his hair that bad?

As the bell signaling lunch period, he made his way up to the roof, hoping that his place of refuge was empty.

"WHY YOU… #$%#$^*%^$$%%&^&($#%$#$&#$*)!$!"

… It definitely wasn't empty.

Softly cursing under his breath, he slowly opened the door and saw the typical Vongola lunch scene- Gokudera cursing Yamamoto to the deepest pits of hell, Yamamoto grinning and laughing at whatever Gokudera did, and Tsuna on the verge of tears, desperately trying to calm down his guardians- well, one of them- and eat his lunch hurriedly at the same time. The infant was nowhere in sight.

Tsuna was the first to notice Hibari, and nearly keeled over in shock.

"H-Hiba-Mu-Hibari-Muku- HIEEEEEEEEE?"

The prefect raised an eyebrow at the unusual greeting, and briefly wondered why that illusionist had been (partly) mentioned, but chose to say nothing.

The other two, stopping at their friend's outburst, finally noticed Hibari as well. Their reactions, however, were a bit different from Tsuna's.

"…" Gokudera stared at Hibari for a full five seconds, then… "… PWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Clutching his stomach, the Storm Guardian dropped to the ground, rolling with uncontrollable laughter. He barely managed to make his words understandable.

"OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL- PWAHAHAHA- IS WITH YOUR- PWAHAHAHA!"

He had to stop talking due to his uncontrollable laughter.

A vein bulged on the skylark's forehead. At the same time, he was also a bit… confused. What exactly was so funny?

Yamamoto laughed as well, but it was just the typical Yamamoto laugh.

"Haha, hey Hibari! Didn't see you there! Are you here to eat lunch with us? Oh, I like the new look! It reminds me of someone though…"

"… What on earth are you talking about, herbivore?"

"Ah, maybe it's not a new look then? Haha, never mind! Sorry for not noticing it before then!"

"…"

Tsuna took that moment to interrupt.

"Erm, Hi-Hibari-san, why is your-"

Tsuna was interrupted as a new fit of laughter took over his Storm Guardian, who was now crying.

The skylark had had enough of the loud, continuous laughter.

"I'll bite you to death!"

"HIEEEEE! No, Hibari-san, please don't- calm down- don't bite him!

"Hahaha! Tsuna, why is he laughing?"

"…"

**0000000000000000**

A tonfa, dynamite, and many panic attacks later, Gokudera had finally stopped his fits of laughter, Tsuna had lost his voice, Yamamoto was still as clueless as he was before, and Hibari was still annoyed.

Why?

Because the Storm herbivore wouldn't tell him why he was laughing so hard in the first place. Instead, he said something along the lines of, "If you haven't noticed by now, I won't tell you because one- it's too damn funny- and two- you're really stupid for not being able to notice. How do you not notice _that_?" and proceeded to collapse into another laughing fit.

Growling, he stomped off to the Reception Room, hoping a cup of tea would calm his anger.

It didn't.

Not even his favorite green tea could calm him at the moment.

Being a laughingstock was not one of the job descriptions of a Vongola Cloud Guardian and of a Namimori Middle School Disciplinary Committee Leader.

Growling, he slammed his fist down on the table, resulting in his green tea spilling all over him.

He let out a grunt of frustration and quickly got up to go to the bathroom.

**0000000000000000**

As he stood in front of the mirror, the only thing he could do was stare.

… And stare…

… And stare some more, because the sight before his eyes was beyond shocking. It was also a horrible clash of colors.

His hair was perfectly fine. It was black, it was straight, it was in its regular style without a hair out of place.

It was what was _attached_ to his hair that made him want to curl up dejectedly in a corner and fiddle with his tonfas. He couldn't believe he'd been walking around in broad daylight with this… this… _monstrosity _on his head.

The "monstrosity" took to form of a certain illusionist's hair pineapple. It was as if someone had taken Mukuro Rokudo's hair, chopped off the spiky thing on top, and attached it to Hibari Kyoya's head in the same place using superglue. He tried tugging and yanking it, but it stayed put.

The worst part about it was the color. It was purple at first glance, the same purple as Mukuro's hair. It clashed in an awkward way with Hibari's raven black hair. But that wasn't it, oh no, of course not. When Hibari turned this way and that, the thing on his head seemed to change colors as the light hit it in different angles. Turning one way, the monstrosity turned fuchsia pink. Tilting another way turned it lime green, then neon orange. He found that if he tilted his head to the left and turned it the slightest bit, it looked bright blue with yellow polka dots.

… What the hell?

He snapped out of it, shaking his head in disbelief as he realized he what he had been doing. He'd been watching his- well, the thing on his head- turn into different colors, and playing with it!

He needed to bite the stupid pineapple- not the one on his head, the person- to death. Like, real death, as in the one that involves a funeral and a grave and all of that fun dead stuff.

**0000000000000000**

Mukuro Rokudo chuckled as he heard the skylark enter the room.

"Oya, oya, what's this? Thank you for delivering this back to me, Kyoya Hibari."

He walked up to him, ignoring his growls, and took the pineapple-top right off the Cloud Guardian's hair, ignoring the bewildered looks that were shot at him. He then plopped it back on his own head, which had been empty of said pineapple for the day.

After getting over the initial shock of seeing the illusionist take the monstrosity and put it back on his head like it was nothing, the skylark spat out, "I'll bite you and your pineapple to death."

**0000000000000000**

From that day on, he considered Mukuro and his hairpiece to be two separate things, and he never looked at them the same way ever again.

**0000000000000000**

**A/N: I'm sorry. I'm truly very sorry. **

**So please, don't kill me. (That means you, Shopaholic.) Sorry I haven't updated since Halloween… I have no excuse. I was just being a lazy butt… My apologies. **

**Anyways, how's this chapter for an apology! :) Did anyone's brain turn into mush from trying to imagine Hibari with Mukuro's pineapple top? 'Cause I know mine sure did. If that didn't turn it into mush, then how about the image of Hibari standing in front of the mirror and playing around with the thing? …Oh Hibari. **

**One quick thing before I go. Can anyone help me with this problem I've been having on FF? When I put up the chapters on document manager, I can't edit the chapter, so I can't put in the line break things. For some reason, I just can't edit the chapter online… Darn FF. That's why I've changed the way I divided the story, so sorry if it's harder to read. **

**Whew, longest A/N so far, I think. Sorry about that~ I'll be back soon (hopefully) with another chapter for you guys! Thanks for reading~**


	8. Searching

**Pissing Off a Skylark**

_Chapter 8: Searching… Searching… _

**Disclaimer: Just as Hibari's tonfas don't belong to Mukuro, Katekyo Hitman Reborn doesn't belong to me. Aw.**

* * *

><p>Looking up at the gray sky, a smirk came to our favorite pineapple's face.<p>

"Hmm, what a dismal day. I think I'll go out and play. Kufufufufu…."

* * *

><p>The prefect of Namimori Middle School walked briskly through the slippery hallways, taking care not to slip. He didn't need another one of those face planting episodes.<p>

"Kyo-san!"

Hibari turned around to see Kusakabe walking towards him.

"Hn."

"Kyo-san, the preparations for the school festival are going to start in two weeks. What are…"

Suddenly, the hallways around him started to spin, and the skylark felt an odd feeling, like something was reaching under his jacket. He spun around, only to find nothing behind him. He also noticed that the world had stopped spinning.

He turned around to face Kusakabe again, his face as indifferent as ever.

"Umm, Kyo-san, is there something wrong?..."

"No. I'll talk with you later."

Swinging his jacket behind him, he disappeared into the Reception Room, leaving behind a very confuddled Kusakabe.

* * *

><p>Hibari sat in his chair, clutching his green tea and on high alert for any evil chuckling pineapples. Something was going to happen, he was sure of it.<p>

Sure enough, he was right- of course he was. He was Hibari Kyoya.

The air around his beloved couch swirled, and Mukuro appeared, sprawled out as if he owned the thing.

"Hello there." Smirked the Mist Guardian.

Growling, Hibari stomped over to the couch and pulled out his tonfas, ready to attack.

"Oya oya, are you going to fight me with those? You must be feeling mighty confident today, Hibari Kyoya."

Confused by his words, the prefect glanced down at his hands to see that he was holding his usual pair of…

… Pencils? What?

He immediately flung them away, and reached into his jacket once again, only to find that he had brought out a pair of scissors.

_What are these things? How'd they get here? And where the hell are my tonfas? I need them to bite this pineapple herbivore to death!_

With slightly panicky movements, the Cloud Guardian frantically began pulling things out of his jacket. First came some books, an eye patch, a bag of cat food, a bouquet of indigo flowers- SQUIRT!

"…KufufufuFUFUFUFUFUFUFU!" chuckled Mukuro, who'd been lying on the couch the whole time, wearing an I'm-highly-amused face.

Hibari spat out the water in disgust. Really? Squirting flowers? He really needed to bite this pineapple to death, NOW. But he needed his tonfas first…

* * *

><p>Many, MANY objects later, the skylark was very, VERY annoyed. In the span of several jacket searching hours, he'd pulled out hammers, wine bottles, a bottle of pineapple-scented shampoo, tree branches, a bar of chocolate, a bottle of conditioner to go with the shampoo, and much, much more.<p>

Sighing, he pulled something else out of his jacket, which was beginning to look deflated- it wouldn't swing around coolly anymore, which was a shame. He enjoyed having his jacket billow out behind him when he-

"MEOW!"

Startled, he let go of the little kitten, and it ran over to Mukuro, who was still there with a smirk on his face, watching Hibari growl in frustration

Well, that explained the cat food.

Gritting his teeth, Hibari decided that if the next thing he pulled out weren't his tonfas, he wouldn't bite the stupid illusionist to death- he would _strangle _him to death. Really.

Grimacing, he pulled something out.

… It wasn't his tonfas. Not even close.

It was a bright, neon orange balloon, the kind that clowns twisted up into little animals or whatever.

As he started in disbelief, the balloon started twisting itself, and became a bright, neon orange balloon dog. It waddled awkwardly over to the couch, which was empty of a certain illusionist.

What?

Slamming his fist on the ground, the frustrated prefect realized that he'd stood there, pulling things out of his jacket, instead of just attacking the stupid pineapple. He'd just let him get away!

… And he _still_ didn't have his tonfas.

Damn him.

* * *

><p>Kusakabe walked slowly to the Reception Room, rubbing his temples tiredly. He'd done all of the work for the day, since his leader had been nowhere to be found.<p>

As he opened the door to the Reception Room, his jaw dropped in shock, weariness forgotten.

His leader was sitting on the floor, surrounded by mountains of random objects like- was that a _balloon dog?_

Quietly closing the door, he backed away very, _very _slowly.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whew, I'm back. Sorry for being such a lazy butt = =. I have no excuses… Ehehehe….. … Also, sorry for the really short chapter. I really couldn't think of anything else to put in there…**

**On a happier note, I can finally edit my chapters on FF again! YES. You probably figured that out, since the line breaks were in this chapter and such… I'll probably go back and fix the chapters before… Probably…**

**One last thing- do you guys want other characters (Vongola, Varia, Millefiore, etc etc.) to show up more? Tell me~**

**Alright, that's all for now. I'll be back~ **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted! **


	9. Teaching

**Pissing Off a Skylark  
><strong>_Chapter 9: Teaching_

**Disclaimer: Does Hibari really go to class? NO. Does Mukuro actually teach?–shudder.- NO. Do I own KHR? NO.**

* * *

><p>Sighing, the Vongola Cloud Guardian made his way to his first period class. Today was one of the days he had to attend all of his classes- lately his attendance hadn't been great, no thanks to a certain illusionist. Hopefully, Kusakabe could keep everything under control for the day.<p>

Entering his classroom, he took his seat near the back. There was still half an hour before class started, and he had to make sure none of the herbivores were making trouble in the almost empty classroom. The few students that were already in the classroom fooling around suffered the piercing gaze of the skylark, and sat down in their seats, frozen with fear.

As more students trickled in, the noise level in the classroom remained at a deathly silence. No one wanted to be bitten to death by Hibari, so no one made a peep.

Unfortunately, the silence was ruined by one (really, really stupid) student who entered the classroom, oblivious to the silence, the fellow students staring straight ahead, and the death stare coming from the back.

"Hey guys, what's up?" he called to his friends cheerfully. "Man, I heard today that Yoshida-sensei is…"

He trailed off, wondering why his friends weren't replying and frantically throwing panicked looks towards the back of the classroom instead.

He followed his gaze, saw a glimpse of Hibari's deathly glare, and ran- disappeared down the hallway, much like grape candies "disappear" when placed in front of a certain bovine child.

Luckily for him, the bell rang just as the prefect was about to get up and bite him to death.

… He'd get him later.

As the door slid open, the students sat up straight, expecting their teacher. They stared, confused, as the person who had entered made his way to the front and cleared his throat.

Hibari, who had been looking out the window for any signs of bad little herbivores who needed to be bitten to death, turned his attention to the front of the classroom. When he saw who was standing there, he collapsed onto the desk.

…Oh god, why?

"Hello class, I'm the substitute teacher for Yoshida-sensei. He had an unfortunate… accident… Kufufu," said the "teacher." His low voice sent shivers down the spines of all the poor students, and his mismatched eyes made them tremble just by staring into them.

… The creepy image was ruined, however, once they directed their gazes to his hair. Indigo, pineapple-shaped, and just plain weird.

Some students' eyes widened in disbelief as they remembered the hairstyle. They had seen this man before…

…In a pink apron.

…Glomping their prefect.

Oh, how it brought back terrible, terrible, mentally scarring images.

They gulped, and felt a sudden dark aura swell up from the back. Feeling trapped between a creepy smile and a deathly glare, they couldn't do anything except stare straight ahead- slowly dehydrating- wondering what their fates would be.

Whatever it was, they could only hope really, _really _hard that they'd be alive by the end of the day.

* * *

><p>"… Akagi Rin?"<p>

"H-Here"

"Enomoto Yuki?"

"Here"

"Hibari Kyoya?"

"…"

"Hibari Kyoya? Are you here?" Mukuro asked while smirking pointedly at the skylark.

"… _Here,_" he growled back, glowering at the illusionist.

"Oya oya, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there! You should've said something the first time!" exclaimed the "teacher" in (false) surprise, a mocking grin plastered to his face.

Hibari wanted to bite him to death really, _really_ badly. But he held back, because then the education would be interrupted.

School first, biting stupid bastard pineapple illusionists second.

… With the way things were going, he was going to need a priority change.

* * *

><p>"Alright, for today's math lesson, we'll be learning…"<p>

The Vongola Cloud Guardian immediately blocked out the annoying pineapple's voice. He really didn't feel like listening to a lesson right now, especially not one being taught by his hated enemy.

When Mukuro noticed his "student" spacing out, he smirked, and proceeded to get his attention back, the old-fashioned way.

_Thuk!_

The other students just stared as they watched the scene unfold before them.

Hibari blinked, startled. He glanced down at his desk to find pieces of chalk, broken from the collision with his head. It never would've hit him if the Mist Guardian hadn't hidden it with an illusion.

Glaring at the illusionist for what seemed like the thousandth time this morning, he sprang up out of his chair, ready to bite him to death, when Mukuro said, with his ever-present smirk, "Oya oya, Hibari Kyoya, is this how you treat a teacher? Of your beloved school?"

He froze in mid-step. The bastard had a point.

He turned around and plopped back into his seat, fuming. He'd get him. Somehow.

* * *

><p>The bell rang, signaling the end of the torturous period with the pineapple herbivore at long last. The relieved skylark would rather listen to his old teachers drone on and on all day then have the illusionist teaching his class.<p>

...

The period was over.

So why was the pineapple still standing there?

Eyes narrowing, his worst fears were confirmed with the herbivore's next words.

"Oya oya, what's this? It seems like your science teacher, Satou-sensei, is not here due to unfortunate circumstances as well! So you'll be spending another period with me! Kufufufu," announced the "overjoyed" teacher.

Hibari fell out of his chair.

* * *

><p>"Alright, so today's science lesson will be on… the chemical composition of pineapples! Now who's exci-"<p>

_THWACK._

Mukuro smirked, unfazed, as the tonfa flew towards his with blinding speed and crashed into the chalkboard behind him.

"Hibari Kyoya, you just tried to assault a teacher!" he exclaimed in a "frightened" voice. "I have no choice but to give you detention. I'll be seeing you after school today."

The skylark froze. He knew that even if he didn't go to the detention, the stupid pineapple would find a way to bother him more anyway.

Internally groaning, he collapsed into his chair.

Then the reality of it all hit him.

He was having detention.

With Rokudo Mukuro.

Who was always looking for ways to bother, annoy, anger, stress out, and piss him off.

… He was _so_ screwed.

* * *

><p><strong>Tip of the day: Don't chew gum while you have a stuffy nose. It's really, REALLY hard to breathe.<br>****Anyways, I'm sorry for the late chapter AGAIN. I kept blanking out whenever I sat down to write this.  
><strong>**It's not the best. Sorry.  
><strong>**I'll be back with another one… hopefully soon.**

**Thanks to those who reviewed, alerted, and favorited!**


	10. Detention

**Pissing Off a Skylark  
><strong>_Chapter 10: Detention_

**Disclaimer: Will I ever update fast enough? No. Do I own KHR? No.**

* * *

><p>The final bell of the school day rang, signaling the end of torture for the students of Namimori Middle School. That is, all of the students except for a certain skylark, who knew that his torture was just about to begin in the form of an indigo pineapple.<p>

Joy.

He would never have gone, of course, but something had happened during lunch that was forcing him to be present at the "detention (torture session)."

* * *

><p>-<em>Earlier, during lunch-<em>

Hibari made his way up to his favorite spot on the rooftop, eager to spend the period free from the chattering and crowding of the herbivores. And of course, to get away from the pineapple "substitute."

Lying down with his hands tucked underneath his head, he closed his eyes, greatly enjoying the silence and awaiting the arrival of his little friend.

Unfortunately for him, things were never that simple.

"Midori tanabiku namimori no…"

Cracking open one eye, he saw Hibird. Sitting in a cage.

And Rokudo Mukuro was holding that cage.

This could _not_ be good.

"Kufufu, I assumed that you would refuse to attend today's detention, Hibari Kyoya, so I took it upon myself to provide you with a bit of… incentive. Wasn't that kind of me? Kufufufu…" he chuckled like it was the most amusing thing on the earth.

Hibari narrowed his eyes. What, did this pineapple herbivore take him for a weakling? He'd just go over there, bite the illusionist to death, and take back Hibird. End of story.

Just as he was about to leap into tonfa-swinging action, Mukuro spoke as if he had read the prefect's mind.

"Oya oya. You don't want to forcefully take him back, because then I will take him back, teach him new 'songs,' and make him sit outside your window at night and sing. _Loudly_." he emphasized, a glint in his eyes.

The skylark froze, imagining the scenario that had just been presented to him. His eyes widened a fraction, and he internally cringed at the thought of Mukuro teaching Hibird new "songs" to sing.

… He'd rather go to the stupid detention.

Seeing that his job was done, Mukuro chuckled one last time before disappearing into a swirling indigo mist.

* * *

><p>Slowly trudging his way to his detention room of doom, he passed by his second in command.<p>

"Kyo-san! What brings you to this part of the school?" he asked, since his leader usually didn't patrol here until later.

Hibari glared at him and growled out something unintelligible.

"Um, what did you say?" Kusakabe asked apprehensively, sensing that something bad was coming.

"… _Detention,_" came the clear reply.

The long piece of grass that was always lodged in Kusakabe's mouth floated to the ground.

* * *

><p>Sliding the door open with a loud slam, Hibari stomped into the classroom.<p>

"Kufufufu, I see you came," came a voice from the front of the room.

The Cloud Guardian's only reply was to scowl and glare fiercely at the illusionist.

"My, my, what an attitude we have!" Mukuro exclaimed in a tone that might remind some of a certain Sun Guardian in a certain Vongola Assassination Squad.

"So, let's see, for today's detention, you simply have to write on the chalkboard. Here, I'll show you some examples."

He turned and started writing on the board in elegant handwriting.

When he finished, he inspected his work, and with a nod, stepped aside to let the skylark see.

_I shall not bite people to death_

_Rokudo Mukuro is the most amazing illusionist ever_

_I, Hibari Kyoya, am an insignificant, weak herbivore_

_Pineapples are awesome_

… And more.

The prefect felt multiple veins bulge at once. There was no way he was going to write those ridiculous sentences. He shot up out of his chair, ready to leave, when the Mist Guardian spoke.

"Write these sentences, one hundred times each. And do them correctly."

And then he started to whistle a tune that sounded suspiciously like the Namimori school song, reminding the pissed prefect of the situation he was in.

He did _not _want to write those stupid sentences.

But then again, he didn't want Hibird chuckle like Mukuro outside his window every night, either.

Growling, he picked up the chalk and started writing.

* * *

><p>Many, many sentences later, Hibari was finally finished. He threw the chalk with amazing Yamamoto-thrown-baseball force at the smirking illusionist, and quickly exited the room.<p>

Looking at the board, Mukuro inspected the skylark's work.

"…Kufufufu…"

* * *

><p>With a yawn, the exhausted prefect climbed into his bed that night, ready for a peaceful sleep.<p>

Just as he was about to fall into a deep slumber, he heard a high pitched "kufufufu" coming from outside his window.

He jumped out of bed and threw open the window.

There, in the tree next to his window, sat Hibird, chuckling away like there was no tomorrow.

And next to his little friend sat Rokudo Mukuro, smirking away.

"Pinapple herbi-"

"You missed a sentence," he said, cutting off the enraged skylark mid-sentence.

With that, he leaped out of the tree and disappeared into the night, leaving Hibird still sitting in the tree.

"Kufufufufufufu…"

* * *

><p><strong>New KHR chapter today~ yays.<strong>

**Anyways…  
><strong>**Phew, I almost forgot to update today! Hehehe, I made it.  
><strong>

**Spoiler alert!- Be prepared for snow fights, the Varia, and Christmas! Kufufufu.  
>Oh, before I forget- to those of you who think Hibari's a little OOC, I think you're right. But if he wasn't, then it'd be impossible for most of these things to happen, don't you think? Sorry, I'll try to make him stay in character as much as I can.<strong>

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted! Pineapple-scented candles for you all~**


	11. Holiday Fun

**Pissing Off a Skylark**

_Chapter 11: Holiday Fun_

**Disclaimer: Is Mukuro a jolly, fat old man that pops out of chimneys? Nah. Do I own KHR? Nah.**

* * *

><p>The last school bell of the year rang, freeing students to spend the rest of their year partying. Or being lazy bums. It depended on whom you asked.<p>

Hibari Kyoya was finishing the last of the paperwork that had piled up on his desk, and stretched out, feeling relaxed. Hopefully, the stupid pineapple would be too busy partying and doing whatever with the other herbivores and wouldn't bother him.

Of course, he was wrong. Oh, the poor thing.

* * *

><p>Walking through the pure, crisp snow, Hibari breathed out, watching his breath fog before him. As he headed towards the school gates, he felt something coming towards him. With instant movements, he whipped out his tonfas and bit the object to death…<p>

… And proceeded to get smacked in the face with icy wetness.

"Kufufufu… Even if you hit the snow, you'll still get wet, you know." stated a certain amused illusionist.

"… Then I'll bite you to death." spat the prefect, and charged towards the illusionist standing in the snow.

Snowballs of every shape and size- was that a camel?- came flying at him at unbelievable speeds, but he scoffed and dodged them all easily.

But he got hit anyway, thanks to Mukuro's illusions.

The snow that hit his face then proceeded to clump into shapes that looked suspiciously like a Santa beard and eyebrows, also thanks to Mukuro's illusions.

Smirking, Mukuro pelted him with more snow, making it pile up around him higher and higher until the skylark was surrounded in snow, head and arms sticking out. Mukuro then walked over and plopped an indigo hat and scarf on the Hi-snowman.

"Oya, oya, it seems to be missing a little something…" he mused. "Oh, I know!" he dug around his coat pockets and pulled out a carrot.

Hibari growled. "You are _not-_"

He struggled to get out of his icy confines, but found that he couldn't move. He wriggled and flailed about as the carrot was brought closer to his face, but Mukuro grabbed his head and smushed the carrot onto his nose.

Stepping back, the illusionist nodded and said, satisfied, "Kufufu. It's complete."

He disappeared in a flurry of indigo snow, leaving the skylark snowman standing there, pissed and scowling.

* * *

><p>A few days later, on the night before Christmas, Hibari was sitting in quiet bliss in his living room, sipping some warm tea. After the pineapple herbivore had snowman-ified him, he hadn't been bothered since. It was amazing. Hopefully, he would be left alone for the rest of the holidays.<p>

He was bored, so he decided to read a bit before going to sleep. Grabbing a book, he slouched down on the couch and began reading. When his eyes began drooping, he glanced at the clock and saw that it was just before midnight. With a sigh, he closed the book, grabbed his tea and was about to head to his room when he heard a soft noise.

Quickly, he whipped out his tonfas, ready to bite to death anyone who dared to intrude his home.

He heard the sound again.

It sounded like… a jingle?

Then, something popped out of his chimney- like, literally popped out.

"Kufufufu… Now that was quite fun."

Hibari's eyes widened a fraction when he saw what- rather, who- had decided to pop into his home.

It was Santa Mukuro. Joy. He was decked in an indigo Santa suit, complete with a Santa hat, and was carrying a huge sack. What really creeped the skylark out was the Santa beard that Mukuro was wearing. It was just plain… odd.

"Kufu-Hohoho! Merry Christmas!" chuckled the pineapple Santa. "Here, a gift!"

He threw an envelope at the prefect, who caught it and glared at it suspiciously.

"Oh, go on. Open it," urged Santa Mukuro with a glint in his eyes.

Curiosity got the better of Hibari, and he slowly opened the envelope. In it was a card, with a simple "Merry Christmas" written on the front. Holding it away at arm's length, he cautiously opened it.

The sound of chuckling filled his ears, and he glanced at the illusionist standing in his living room. But Mukuro wasn't doing anything. He brought his attention back to the card, and realized the annoying sound was coming from there.

On the card was printed "Laughter brings joy to the world!" But someone had taken a pen and crossed out the word "laughter," choosing to write in "chuckling" instead. It wasn't really hard to figure out who had done it, since on the bottom it was signed with a little cartoon pineapple.

The chuckling just wouldn't stop, even after Hibari slammed the card closed. The sound kept reverberating around the room, driving him mad. He threw the still chuckling card down and charged towards Mukuro, tonfas ready for some biting action.

Mukuro disappeared up the chimney.

…

Hibari raced outside, hoping to catch the bastard pineapple before he escaped for good. Looking around, he heard a noise on his roof and looked up.

The sight that met his eyes was something he would never forget for the rest of his life.

… At least it explained the earlier jingling noise.

For on his roof were twelve people dressed as reindeer, tied to a festively decorated sled. He saw a herbivore reindeer, a smoking reindeer, a goofily grinning reindeer, an extreme idiot reindeer, a cow reindeer, a scarred reindeer, a silver reindeer, a crowned reindeer, a frog reindeer, a hooded reindeer, an ugly reindeer, and a pink reindeer that was radiating auras of gayness.

"HIEE! P-please stop fighting, w-we'll be knocked off the roof!"

"Don't worry Jyuudaime, I shall catch you when you fall!"

"Haha, this is fun!"

"CHRISTMAS SPIRIT AND TRAINING TO THE EXTREME!"

"Wahahahah! Lambo-sama wants some grape candies for his efforts!"

"VOIIII! WHY THE HELL ARE WE HERE?"

"Shut up, trash. The mist trash promised a Christmas feast."

"Ushishishi, the Prince wants to stab these peasants right now."

"Well, Bel-sempai, if you do that, then we won't be able to fly through the air."

"What? Whatever, as long as I get to keep my money."

"B-Boss!"

"Oooh! This is so cute!"

Staring up at his crowded roof in shock, he watched as Santa Mukuro appeared out of his chimney and jumped into the sleigh calling, "Now, my reindeer! Away we go!"

And as soon as he commanded them, the twelve reindeer shut up and flew into the sky.

Hibari stood there, watching them until he could no longer see the bright sleigh or hear the jingling bells.

After the jingling bells could no longer be heard, he then heard another noise. Coming from inside his house.

"Dammit!" he growled, and dashed back inside.

The stupid card was _still_ chuckling.

* * *

><p><strong>I… am a terrible person. I'm sorry. Really. Really. Sorry. I should've updated sooner. I know.<br>****Well, at least I updated for Christmas! I hope you enjoyed this really, really weird chapter.  
><strong>**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited and alerted!**

**And again, I'm sorry. I probably won't update until the end of the break. I have Christmas, then a winter retreat with my youth group! Yay! Haha, sorry, I'm really excited.**

**Anyways, this was my early Christmas present to you.  
><strong>**Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!**


	12. Numbers

**Pissing Off a Skylark**

_Chapter 12: Numbers_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Nope. Never. Not even on my birthday. -sob.-**

* * *

><p><em>Damn that baby.<em> It was his fault that he was stuck here, sitting at some uninteresting (really, _really _boring) meeting. Something about herbivores trying to bite the Dame-Herbivore.

He really, _really_ didn't care.

But he was stuck here anyways, thanks to an irresistible offer of fighting the three strongest Arcobaleno at once. It was an offer the biting skylark couldn't refuse.

He glanced around the herbivore's bedroom, observing what the other herbivores were doing. The Dame-Herbivore was deathly pale, since the baby was describing what methods the enemy would use to torture him. Hmph. How weak. The Storm Herbivore was shouting about how he'd protect the other. The Baseball Herbivore was just laughing. …And laughing some more. The Boxer Herbivore was shouting, "I AM EXTREMELY CONFUSED!" The Cow Herbivore was picking his nose in his sleep, muttering about grape candies. Disgusting.

And the annoying pineapple herbivore…

Was reading something on a laptop?

The Mist Guardian was sitting on the floor, staring at a laptop. His eyes darted back and forth as he read, and he looked highly amused. That was never a good thing. Hibari's carnivore instincts told him something bad was coming.

Sure enough, he was right.

"Oya, oya, Kyoya-kun. When did _you_ start playing for the other team?"

Everyone in the room whipped their heads at the odd question to stare at Mukuro, then Hibari. Yamamoto was the first to react.

"Hahaha, Hibari! I didn't know you played baseball!"

"You stupid baseball idiot!" growled Gokudera, fingers itching to grab his dynamite. "The tonfa bastard doesn't play baseball!"

"U-Uh, Mukuro-san? What d-do you mean?" stuttered a confused Tsuna.

"Why, Sawada Tsunayoshi, it means that Kyoya-kun here, has been very _naughty_," he said, his voice dropping down into a low whisper.

The sound of tonfas being taken out of a multi-dimensional pocket rang throughout the room.

"You bastard pineapple, what are you talking about?" Hibari asked menacingly.

"Kufufufufu, well it says right here that you andTsunayoshi are-"

The amused illusionist got no further, as he was busy making sure his precious laptop wasn't damaged by biting tonfas.

"Give me the source of that ridiculous nonsense," growled the Cloud Guardian.

"Kufufu, I don't think so~" he taunted, dodging the prefect's wild attacks.

With a few quick taps of the keyboard, a voice came out of the computer.

… _And with that, Hibari pushed Tsuna onto… Whispering those words… With a heated, blushing face, Tsuna… "You two went on a date?"… Fidgeting nervously, Tsuna stood… "I love you,"… Hugged… Kissed… The sky and cloud…_

Everyone in the room froze in shock, displaying their best WTF faces. Even Hibari momentarily froze, unable to believe what he was hearing about him and the herbivore. Tsuna was redder than anyone had ever seen him before.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" was the first response, courtesy of Gokudera. "Give me that! How dare you make up these obscenities about the Jyuudaime!"

With that, he grabbed for the laptop that sat snugly in the illusionist's hands. However, Mukuro dodged with a chuckle, and pressed some more keys.

This time, it was about Hibari and Yamamoto.

Yamamoto himself was the first to react.

"Ahahaha! What a fun story!"

"YOU BASEBALL IDIOT! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT WAS!" exploded Gokudera, who wanted to chuck every dynamite he had on his person at the laughing Yamamoto.

"Haha, of course I do! It was about baseball, how Hibari's on the other team, right?"

Gokudera collapsed onto the floor, exasperated at the Rain Guardian's obliviousness and stupidity.

"Oya, oya, someone's jealous~" mocked the highly entertained Mukuro. "Here, have some 8059."

"8059? The fuck is-"

Another "story" began playing, this time about the Storm and Rain Guardians. Gokudera turned red, though it was hard to tell whether it was out of anger or embarrassment. It was probably a mixture of both.

"I AM EXTREMELY CONFUSED!" shouted Ryohei, who had been surprisingly quiet up until now.

"Kufufufu, should I explain, then?" chuckled Mukuro, eyes glinting.

"YEAH! WHAT IS THIS EXTREME 8059?" yelled the boxer, punching the air above him.

"… Well, that wasn't the question I was expecting, but I shall answer yours anyway," grinned Mukuro. "8059 is made up of 80 and 59. Those numbers stand for two people, in this case it's 80- Yamamoto Takeshi- and 59- Gokudera Hayato. Each of us have a number, and _they _use it to 'pair us up.'"

Hibari's eyes narrowed. Who were _they_?

Mukuro then told everyone their numbers, and who they were popularly paired with. Many of their brains couldn't process the idea.

"8059? 1827? 6927? 5927? 6996? R27? HIEEEE! Why are there so many different ones for 27?" wailed Tsuna.

"Kufufufu, you, Sawada Tsunayoshi, are referred to as the 'universal uke.' You are paired with pretty much everyone," explained the illusionist, who was becoming more and more amused with the reactions he was getting.

"Bastard pineapple, I will bite you to death for telling us about these ridiculous things, and for breaking the fourth wall," said the annoyed skylark. He rushed at Mukuro, who dodged with little effort, while most of the others in the room wondered, _What's the fourth wall?_

Then things got interesting.

The illusionist used his illusions to make the prefect trip and fall on top of the frozen Tsuna. They crashed together onto the bed which oh-so-conveniently happened to be right behind them. Frozen in that position, they both stared at each other. Tsuna's eyes were wide and his face was even redder than before, while Hibari's eyes had widened by just a tiny fraction.

Mukuro, satisfied with his entertaining mischief making, disappeared in a shroud of mist.

* * *

><p>Needless to say, after that day, everyone became wary of numbers.<p>

Especially Tsuna, who stopped wearing his 27 sweatshirts. He envied Lambo, who had slept obliviously throughout the whole thing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Meh. I feel like this isn't so great… The idea seemed fun in my head, but then I couldn't find a good way to write it out… Gah.  
><strong>**Speaking of ideas, if anyone's got an inspiration pineapple, throw it at me! Kufufu. Any suggestions for a chapter would be nice~  
><strong>**So yeah, I started another story. Comedy and family fluff. Go check it out~**

**And yes, it's really my birthday. Leave a present in the form of a review? ;)**


	13. Color Shock

**Pissing Off a Skylark**

_Chapter 13: Color Shock_

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn isn't mine… The song used isn't mine… Nothing is mine. -sob.-**

* * *

><p>Today was going to be a bad day. The leader of the disciplinary committee could feel it.<p>

The fact that he could see the pineapple illusionist walking onto _his_ school grounds added to that feeling. By a lot.

With an almost inaudible sigh, he quickly went to (attempt to) bite the illusionist before he did something. Which, these days, never seemed to happen. …Great. He was losing his touch.

* * *

><p>The wind blew, birds cawed, and trees rustled as the two mortal enemies were locked in a heated staredown. Mukuro was the first to speak.<p>

"Oya oya, what's this? Kyoya-kun personally came down to welcome me- I'm so honored," he said with a sweeping bow.

But his words sounded a bit… slurpy to Hibari, as if Mukuro had something in his mouth. On closer inspection, he found that it was true- the illusionist was chewing… gum?

"Enough," growled the skylark. "For being on school grounds when you're not a Namimori student, and for chewing gum on school grounds, I'll bite you to death."

But as he started to charge towards the illusionist, something appeared with a poof of mist right in his face, startling him and stopping his angry charge. Of course, this just made him more irritated. He had failed to bite the annoying pineapple before he did something _again_.

And then the mist cleared, revealing a floating pineapple, complete with heterochromatic eyes and a creepy smirk. It floated over next to its look-alike, and as Hibari, annoyed that he had to see yet _another_ pineapple, took a step towards the two, the pineapple (the floating one) burst… into song?

"_Pink and purple, blue and orange, green and white and yellow! Pink and purple…" _It just kept singing that phrase over and over and over again.

Hibari could feel his veins bulging. Then he saw what Mukuro was doing, and he wanted to facepalm- but he didn't, of course, because that's not a very Hibari-like thing to do.

As the (floating) pineapple sang its (really, really, really) annoying song, Mukuro stopped chewing his gum and started blowing a bubble. Of course, it wasn't just a regular bubble, since its color changed to match the song that the other pineapple was singing. The same went for his fruity hair, which matched the bubble and the song.

… It was actually quite… entertaining…

The bubble, while still changing color with the song and his hair, kept growing and growing, until Hibari's vision was filled with changing colors.

Then the bubble popped. Of course, Mukuro being Mukuro, made the bubble so that it didn't pop normally. It didn't pop onto his own face, like regular bubbles do, but instead, popped out onto the unsuspecting prefect, enveloping him in a sticky mess.

By the time the pissed skylark ripped his way out of the bubble, the illusionist was long gone, echoes of the song remaining in the air. Hibari, with pieces of bubble gum still stuck in his hair, clothes, and precious disciplinary band, slammed his tonfas onto the ground in frustration.

And the pieces remaining on him were still changing color.

* * *

><p>The next day, Mukuro decided to pop in again- literally. The prefect almost jumped out of his chair in surprise when a burst of colorful mist exploded in the Reception Room, and the two pineapples appeared before him once again.<p>

Eyes twitching, he jumped out of his chair and was about to bite the annoying pineapples to death when he was interrupted yet again. This time, it was by the door to the Reception Room sliding open with a _bang_.

To Hibari's surprise, the rest of the herbivores scurried in and stood behind the pineapples, some looking nervous, some looking irritated, and some looking quite happy. Then the strangest thing that Hibari had seen for a while happened.

When the pineapple began its song, the herbivores sang along with it. What's more is that they began bobbing up and down in an alternating order, like those things in that chocolate factory- what were they call- oh, Oompaloompahs.

Mukuro began blowing the bubble, his hair changing along with it. As it got bigger, Hibari realized what was going to happen, and started rushing at the bubble. Unfortunately for him, right before he could pop it, it expanded to huge proportions, as if a geyser had just shot a huge amount of air right into it. It popped.

When he finally got the stick mess out of his eyes, he took in his surroundings. Pineapples and herbivores were gone, leaving only himself and a sticky, color splotched Reception Room. The skylark looked around his precious room in irritation. He swore, if it smelled like pineapples, and it was pineapple flavored, he would- damnit. Spoke too soon.

His window suddenly opened, and the pineapple bastard's head popped in. He then held out something in his hand and said, "Kufufufufu… Would you like a piece, Kyoya-kun?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Heeello. Sorry for the wait, the latest chapter it here… Yeah… Sorry, it's a bit short this time. But I hope you guys liked it~  
><strong>**Yeah, the song is –you guessed it- the Bubblegum Song. I actually did not know about the existence of this song until a little while ago, when I saw the jayesslee version of it on youtube ( http: / www. youtube. com/ watch?v=rnDtb6va_TI ) Take away the spaces. Yeah, it pretty much inspired this whole chapter.**

**And about updating my stories, I'll always be updating in an alternating order. So next time I update, it'll be The Other Side of the Family. Check that one out, please? http:/ www. fanfiction. net/ s/7694207/ 1/The_Other_Side_of_the_Family**

**Thanks to all who reviewed, alerted, and favorited!  
><strong>**I'll be back soon~**


	14. Utensil'd

**Pissing Off a Skylark**

_Chapter 14: Utensil'd_

**Disclaimer: Did everyone see Fon (in his awesome flowy robe thing) totally own the Varia this week? Yeah, I didn't do that. Akira Amano did. Chill.  
><strong>**As usual, this isn't really checked and stuff. So sorry for mistakes.**

* * *

><p>Hibari Kyoya woke up one morning with his head pounding, eyes tearing and nose running.<p>

_Being sick is a herbivorous thing._

With that thought in mind, he slowly rose out of bed. As he was pulling on his uniform, he noticed an odd glow coming from the closed curtains on the window. Eyebrow raised, he yanked them open, only to have his vision engulfed in pink.

Pink, pink, and more pink- it was shimmering, waving, rustling, and- the skylark snapped out of his distracted state. As he looked more closely, he realized that they were actually a bunch of sakura trees. A _whole_ bunch. As in, a forest.

… Damn that bastard pineapple.

Furiously running out of his house, he was struck with even more pain in his head when he became directly exposed to the sakura trees. Looking around him, all the prefect could see was pink. He did a quick run around his house, only to find that the forest went all around, with no gaps in between. It was like a giant, thick wall of sakura trees. He'd have to bite them all to death in order to get through.

Dashing inside quickly to check the time, he gritted in teeth in annoyance upon seeing how late it was.

But no matter what, he, Hibari Kyoya, would never be late for school.

**Never.**

* * *

><p>He broke through the last barricading tree, free at last.<p>

The school bell signaling the start of the day rang in the distance.

Hibari slammed his tonfa into the ground. He was late for school.

He, _Hibari Kyoya, _was _late for school._

… And he smelled like freaking perfume.

* * *

><p>Tsuna felt it when he woke up this morning. He had a feeling today was <em>not <em>going to be a fun day.

He definitely felt it when Reborn only smiled at him- with no kicks, punches, or hammers to the head- and told him to have a good day at school.

The feeling got worse when he noticed an overwhelming scent of sakura outside.

The feeling became definite knowledge when he came to school two seconds late and noticed his Mist Guardian in the place where Hibari (who was nowhere in sight) usually stood. He came up to him and plopped a spoon on his nose, so that it hung down from his face.

All alarms, bells, and warning signs in his head went crazy when he saw the feared prefect come onto the school grounds, covered in sakura blossoms and wood splinters, and smelling like sakura.

Oh, and he looked pissed off.

_Very _pissed off.

The brunette gulped when he saw Mukuro clasp his hands and chuckle with glee.

Rokudo Mukuro chuckling with glee was _never_ a good thing. When that happened, everyone within a 100-meter radius should run far, far away.

Unfortunately, it was too late. Looking around, Tsuna saw that somehow, Mukuro had stuck a spoon on every single student's nose- and of course, they didn't look like they would fall off anytime soon.

He could only gulp with nervous anticipation as the illusionist disappeared in a shroud of mist, Hibari arriving too late to bite him to death.

With his initial target gone, the prefect turned his angry glare onto the students.

They bolted inside.

* * *

><p>Spoons, spoons, and more spoons.<p>

They were _everywhere. _

Each time a student scurried fearfully by him, he saw a spoon. Naturally, since the spoons was _obviously_ a violation of the dress code, the weapons code (yes, spoons _are _a weapon), and 53 other codes, rules, and regulations, he had tried to get rid of them. He had tried tonfa-ing, pulling, punching, kicking, and many other (odd) things, but the spoons stayed stubbornly in their spot on the students' nose.

During lunch, he noticed that all of the classrooms, hallways, and various other rooms where the students usually ate lunch were empty. Narrowing his eyes, he heard many herbivores crowding outside at the front of the school, being extre- _very _noisy. (… Damn, he was being … influenced… by that noisy herbivore.)

_What now?_

Going outside to the front of the school, he saw the whole student population crowding while saying some incomprehensible words and flapping their arms like chickens on steroids.

He stopped the nearest student with a tonfa swipe to the legs, knocking him over, and menacingly asked, "Just _what _is going on here?"

Gulping fearfully, the poor student avoided his eyes and answered, "W-well, someone told us if we all came d-down here during lunch, and said 'Jiggly wiggly giggly meep' and flapped our arms like a chicken, w-we would- the spoons would come off."

Hibari had no doubt who that "someone" was. What was the herbivore trying to do?

Seconds later, the skylark knew. For some reason, the nonsensical jibberish, the flapping, the crowding- it just pissed him off to indescribable levels. After holding in his irritation for about seven seconds, he went on an unstoppable rampage, tonfas whirling and biting. All his stress, all his irritation- it was all released in the few seconds it took him to bite every single chicken-on-steroids-student to death.

Then, while he stood there, still panting in rage, the spoons fell off everyone's faces and landed on the ground at the same time, making a sharp, loud noise. The prefect knew it was the Mist Illusionist's doing because one- metal can't make such a loud and clear sound when it falls on dirt- and two- it was _always _his fault lately.

_Always._

* * *

><p><em>Damn that bastard pineapple, <em>he thought again for the millionth time that day. He went up onto the roof, away from the noisy cleaning and gathering of the spoons, and sighed, finally getting to relax. He stared up at the blue sky and the white clouds drifting across.

One lonely cloud caught his eye. It looked awfully like a spo-

Hibari clenched his eyes shut, veins bulging. That Rokudo Mukuro always _had _to get the last laugh.

Damn him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ahhh, long time no see…. Ehehe. I've been low on inspiration lately- seriously. And normally I can get inspired by pretty much anything. Heck, this chapter was born today, when I was eating some froyo with a yellow plastic spoon. Like, seriously. Even one word will do, so leave me a random word of inspiration? Or maybe just review? ;) –hint hint.- I've already got the idea for the next chapter in mind, but I'd like some reviews, because honestly, they're like the only things that keep me going. Like when I checked my email after I updated my other fic, The Other Side of the Family, I was seriously overjoyed when I saw a whole bunch of emails from FF.**

**Thanks for reading~**


	15. A Bit Under the Weather

**Pissing Off a Skylark  
><strong>_Chapter 15: A Bit Under the Weather_

**Disclaimer: Here's some math for ya: Katekyo Hitman Reborn=Not Mine.  
><strong>**Read the A/N at the bottom for an explanation of my unexplained mini-hiatus.**

* * *

><p>Hibari Kyoya woke up one fine spring morning feeling a bit… Under the weather.<p>

No, of course it had _nothing_ to do with the little gray rain cloud that was looming over his head, threatening to release all of its contents (whatever they might be) onto him.

… _Yeahhh. _

Oh, did he mention that it vaguely took on the shape of a pineapple? Oh, dear Lord.

He was in for a long day.

* * *

><p>Hibari Kyoya's #1 Solution, Action, Response, etc. to everything: Tonfas out and bite to death.<p>

So of course, that was the first thing he did (since anything that was pineapple-related was bound to end badly).

The heavens opened up and the flood began. Upon tonfa-to-cloud contact, the gray little thing burst open with a _BOOM_! Lightning, wind, and rain unleashed their fury onto his head. In a matter of seconds, he was drenched from head to toe. Thankfully, his carpet wasn't wet…

… Of course that stupid pineapple would give him his own personal rain cloud that could get nothing but him drenched.

Growling, he raced off to Kokuyo Land to finally rid the world of the evil that was Rokudo Mukuro once and for all.

* * *

><p>OH.<p>

MOTHER.

OF.

ALL THINGS THAT ARE CUTE AND FLUFFY.

The pineapple cloud of doom kept raining. And storming. And drenching him. And it was driving his irritation levels up through the roof. He could barely even see a foot ahead of him through the wall of pouring rain. And wind, and occasional lightning. At this rate, it would take him forever to just make it to the end of the street.

He took what seemed like the thousandth swing in a just a few steps at the cloud, but it wouldn't stop its relentless storm.

Not one bit.

Frustrated, he slammed his tonfas onto the _dry _concrete road beneath his _totally drenched_ shoes.

He was going to bite that bastard illusionist to death so badly that even his precious herbivore followers wouldn't be able to recognize him anymore.

… But first, he had to get to _get _there.

* * *

><p>Of course it got worse. There was never any other outcome with these things.<p>

As the skylark got closer and closer to the outskirts of Namimori, the stupid cloud above his head chose to unleash even harsher elements of Mother Nature onto his defenseless being. Gradually, the rain had turned to sleet, then snow, then hail, then a mixture of every freakin' kind of weather that came down from the sky.

When Kokuyo Land finally came into his sights after an excruciatingly long walk, the cloud decided to bring in its friends, hurricane and blizzard. At the same time, not that it was scientifically possible. But then again, this was a creation of Rokudo Mukuro, after all. His irritating creativity and defying of science knew no bounds.

He stepped through the gates.

…

All was quiet above his head. There was no howling of wind, no splattering of rain, no crashing of thunder.

Hibari looked up.

_Plop!_

The skylark flinched and rubbed at the water that had suddenly invaded his eye from above. What the hell had just-

_Plop!_

Another single drop chose to land of his sodden head. It was as if someone (well, it was obvious who) had turned off the weather like it was a sink, and that "sink" was now leaking, as sinks annoyingly do.

… He hated leaky sinks.

… Damn that pineapple illusionist.

_Plop!_

Fingers curled themselves up into a fist.

_Plop!_

Muscles became tense.

_Plop!_

Irritation began boiling up even stronger than before.

_Plooop!_

Fury swirled in his eyes.

…...

Had it stopped?

Hibari warily glanced upwards. Was that infuriating dripping fina- _plop!_

White rage flashed before his eyes.

* * *

><p>Kusakabe made himself familiar with how to fix a leaky sink, and quickly taught the rest of the Disciplinary Committee as well.<p>

* * *

><p>Mukuro chuckled. Oh, the psychological effects a dripping sink can have. Now, what to do next…<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I can explain. Sorry guys, for being away for such a long time. I totally ditched FF because of Lent. For those of you who don't know, Lent is the season before Easter where Christians (I don't know about other religions, so correct me if I'm wrong) fast, or give up something important to them. I gave up fanfics. I forbid myself from even clicking on that tempting little button on my bookmarks bar that would lead me straight to this site. So yeah, no uploading chapters, no reading, you get it.<br>****And it was really spontaneous, so sorry for disappearing without a notice.**

**But on a good note, as an apology for ditching you guys, I'll be updating my stories super fast for the next few days! Yay!  
><strong>…**. Yeah, I'm sorry.  
><strong>**I'll be back soon. Really. :)**

**Sorry for the short chapter.**

**Review? Please? Inspirational words are welcome- I'll try to get to all of them.**


	16. And A Happy Birthday to You

**Pissing Off a Skylark**

_Chapter 16: And A Happy Birthday to You_

**Disclaimer: THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCLAIMED, GOSHDARNIT.**

000

Hibari bolted upright in his bed, glancing at the calendar. _Damn, it was _that_ day of the year again. _

Hopefully, no one would know. Especially not _him- _who knows what he would do to irritate him all day long.

As usual, the skylark thought too soon.

000

The door opened with a click. Kusakabe entered the Reception Room quietly, bowing slightly to his leader. "Good morning, Kyo-san."

"Hn. Did you bring me the reports?" As usual, the prefect got to the point straightaway.

"Yes. Ah, and Kyo-san?"

Hibari looked up from his paperwork, signaling his vice president to continue.

"Ah… this was sitting outside the room," spoke Kusakabe, while placing a small box on the desk.

Hibari glanced at it, but made no move to open it. When he looked back down to his never ending paperwork, Kusakabe knew he had been dismissed. With a bow, he exited the classroom, the blade of grass swaying as he walked.

Hibari continued to do his work in blissful silence, ignoring the white box that sat on his desk.

000

_Ding dong!_ The school bell rang, signaling the start of Namimori Middle's lunch period- the time when all students could relax. That is, if they avoided a certain raven-haired prefect. Hibari glanced at the pile of paperwork he had finished in the last two hours with faint smugness, and saw the little box that had been sitting on his desk the entire time. He had completely forgotten about it.

He casted a suspicious glance at the box. It couldn't be a coincidence, with the day being _today_ and all. Kusakabe should be the only one to know about today, and he had enough sense to know that today should be treated like any other day- especially because of the _incident_ that had happened the first and last time he had tried to make something special out of it.

_Kusakabe bowed, holding up a small box of cake. _P. Scorpion Bakery- cakes to _die _for! _was written in elegant purple ink on the side of the box. "What's this?" the skylark asked, his sharp gaze boring into Kusakabe's hair, as the vice president's face was facing down from the bow._

"_It's a cake, Kyo-san. For your birthday." _

"_Hn." _

_He had accepted the cake- though hesitantly- and opened the box, staring at the workmanship. _

"_Hn." He said again._

_He took a bite. Then another. Then another._

_Then promptly made his way to Namimori Hospital, discreetly clutching his stomach as he went._

_Needless to say, it had been the hospital's first personal encounter with the feared prefect himself- though they had heard plenty about him through the majority of the patients who were admitted into the emergency room. It hadn't been a bad experience for the prefect- he'd gotten a whole wing to himself, with quaking nurses and shivering doctors tending to his every need. _

_Of course, the poor staff and the patients who had been scared out of their rooms for several days had said otherwise._

_But anyway, that was why Hibari never accepted anything anymore._

Hibari put a hand to his stomach- it would groan whenever he thought about that last incident. He glanced at the box again.

It was the size of small cake, and had no words or decorations as far as he could see, just one purple ribbon that wrapped the box to keep it secure. It sat there in all its innocent glory- he could've sworn that it was exuding auras of Open-me-I'm-totally-harmless.

He realized with a sigh that he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else if he didn't open the box soon. Tonfas in hand (because who knew if it was the creation of _that_ bastard or not), he drew the box closer and undid the ribbon, opened the lid, and slowly slid the contents out.

He blinked.

Was that… a hamburger?

Yes, indeed, what now sat on his desk was a perfectly made hamburger with a single purple candle sitting in the middle of it.

However, upon closer inspection, he saw swirls of perfectly colored frosting and the lumps of the loose cake crumbs. Raising an eyebrow, he noted the clever shaping of the cake and the detailed frosting that made it look very much like the food he enjoyed the most.

Only the sometimes-herbivore's mother knew about his favorite food.

_Hibari raced after the thugs who had snatched a woman's purse. They were laughing in glee at their latest theft, but when the prefect caught up with them, he made sure that they wouldn't be laughing again for a very long time._

_He brought the purse back to its owner, a short-haired brunette, who looked at him with a kind smile. "Thank you very much!" she said. Hibari swore there were flowers and sparkles in the background._

_He decided to accompany her- she had an aura of defenselessness, much like the cute little animals that he liked. He had a feeling this wasn't the first time that she had been robbed from, and that it wouldn't be the last. Needless to say, everyone stayed far away from them as they walked back to her house._

"_Thank you so much for walking me home, Kyo-kun!" She was sparkling again. _

_He glanced at the house that they'd arrived at. The nameplate read _Sawada. _Raising an eyebrow, he turned back to the woman when she asked him something._

"_Kyo-kun, what's your favorite food?"_

"… _Hamburger." _

_He was surprised that he'd answered, considering that he never gave anything away about his personal preferences. _

"_Okay then, I promise I'll cook them for you someday, so come over soon, okay? I'm sure Tsu-kun would love to have a new friend over!" she radiated happiness._

_Hn, so she really was the sometimes-herbivore's mother. With a slight nod, he turned and walked away._

He wondered how she could've found out about today, but he didn't question it too much. He had a feeling the woman could do wonders as an interrogation officer- not that she had any threatening qualities, but she probably could make the most cold-hearted criminals sob out their confessions to her.

He put the cake back in the box, planning to eat it later.

000

Hibari walked up the steps to his house, the cake box in hand. Holding the box with one hand, he reached into his jacket for his keys. He planned to have a nice, relaxing evening and eat his cake in peace. Hopefully this day would be over soo-

"Surprise!"

Tonfas appeared out of the prefect's jacket.

"HIEEEEEEE H-HIBARI-SAN, P-PLEASE PUT THOSE AWAY!" shrieked a familiar voice.

The skylark growled under his breath as he took in the sight before his eyes. The sometimes-herbivore and his friends were all standing in his house, decorations and confetti everywhere. The baseball herbivore was holding a cake in his hands, laughing at the dynamite herbivore who was grumbling about how he was only doing this because of his Jyuudaime's orders. The boxing idiot was pumping his fists in the air, shouting "EXTREME BIRTHDAY!" while the cow herbivore of herbivores was crying about how he couldn't have the cake yet.

Crowding… herbivores… A vein in his forehead bulged.

Then he saw a smirking pineapple standing in the corner.

"You…" he started to say. "This is all your fault, isn't it."

"Kufufufu…" was the only reply he got.

He was about to bite him to death with his tonfas, but then a happy voice startled him.

"Ah, Kyo-kun! You're here!"

Sawada Nana walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She had an enormous smile on her face, so Hibari felt that he had no choice but stop his angry charge at the damn illusionist.

"Happy Birthday!" she said with a smile. The words echoed around the room as everyone chimed in. Everyone sat down at the table upon Nana's urging, and she disappeared into the kitchen again. Hibari glared at the pineapple illusionist, who had the nerve to sit right across from him.

Nana came back out, holding a large plate full of warm hamburgers.

"Enjoy!" she exclaimed.

Everyone dug in.

As Hibari ate his delicious hamburger, he looked around. The herbivores were all crowding and being noisy, but strangly, he didn't seem to mind so much…

_CRASHHH!_ Lambo started bawling as he dropped the cup that he'd been drinking out of. The skylark growled- that had been his good cup.

Then the food started flying, the yelling started, and the chuckling coming from across the table just wouldn't stop.

Hibari Kyoya twitched.

What an annoying birthday. Next year, he'd make sure none of this would happen again.

…But maybe it wasn't quite so bad after all…

"Kufufufu…"

000

**A/n: Wow, I am an absolute jerk. Can I escape before all of you rabidly attack me for going back on my promise of faster updates? Ehehe…. **

**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little update, and a happy birthday to our favorite skylark!3 I'm glad I got to write something for his birthday… Speaking of which, I was on tumblr and I found out that today is also Deidara's (Naruto Shippuden) birthday. I was like 0.o…. That's kinda odd. Or is it just me who thinks that?..**

**Anyways, I'll **_**try**_** to be back soon- no promises this time, because I obviously can't keep them. Gomen. Sorry. Mian. Lo siento. **

**Leave some reviews, please? I know I don't deserve them… but still… ;)**

**Byebi~ (LOL I've always wanted to do that. :F)**


	17. I'm So Sorry

_Chapter 17: I'm so Sorry._

**As the author of this ridiculous, totally ridiculous, crazy, I-can't-even chapter, I sincerely apologize. I have no idea where this came from. Hopefully, you guys won't die from exposure to pure crack and whack.  
><strong>**Once again, I'm sorry. Really, really sorry.  
><strong>**Read at your own risk. Nothing can save you from your own imagination.  
><strong>**-We briefly return to normalcy to bring you this disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not the creation of this author-on-tumblrcrack. Carry on.-**

000

_Ahhh. No one brewed tea like Kusakabe did._

Hibari would have to ask him how he did it sometime. Today's green tea was especially exceptional- maybe he tried something slightly different?

Whatever his vice-president had done, the green tea was amazing. End of discussion.

Taking another long sip, he let out a sigh of satisfaction.

With tea and tonfas in hand, nothing would go wrong today.

000

Kusakabe was getting a very, very bad headache. Something was wrong- oh, he didn't have Tsuna's hyper intuition, of course, but even he could feel when something was about to go terribly, terribly wrong. The headache grew worse as he neared the Reception Room to give Hibari his daily written morning report.

That was never a good thing.

Ever.

He braced himself and opened the door. "Kyo-san, I have this morning's report," he said with a bow.

"Hn."

Kusakabe approached the desk with a large stack of papers in hand, and placed them on the desk. He felt a chill go down his back, so he glanced up at his leader. Hibari was staring absentmindedly at him, which was really, _really _creeping him out.

Hibari was not one to stare.

_Especially_ not absentmindedly.

"Urm, Kyo-san? Are you alri-"

"Heeeeyy Kuusakabeeeeeee."

Kusakabe pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to suppress the rapid shivers that were running up and down his body.

_Oh dear lord, someone help me._

And then Hibari- Hibari Kyoya, the fearsome leader of the Namimori Disciplinary Committee, and strongest guardian of the Vongola Decimo- giggled.

_He freakin' giggled. _

000

"… Uhhh, Kyo-san? Are you… okay?" Kusakabe asked warily.

"Heeeeeeh, I feel _peaaachyyy_!" Hibari threw his arms up happily and smiled. Like, with flowers and sparkles flying in the background and all that Kyoko-y stuff.

The second-in-command gagged. This was _definitely _not right. At all.

"Heeeeyy, Kusakabeee?"

"… Yes, Kyo-san?"

"Whyyyyy…"

Kusakabe waited, mentally bracing himself.

"Whyyy do youu alwaysss have that grass thiiiing in your moouuth?" Hibari asked with a groggy tilt of his head. "Whyyyy? Is it yummyyyy? Like greeeen teaaaa? Oooh, I bet it's green teaaa flavoreddd, isn't ittt? Hmphhh, why have you been hidinggg it from meeeeee you know I love green teaaaaa gimmeeeeeee!"

The skylark, a very sluggish manner, reached across the desk, trying to whisk the long piece of grass away from the petrified Kusakabe, who dodged his groggy swipes.

"Hup! Hoi! Gimmeeeeee!" he whined. Then he pouted.

Kusakabe couldn't process what was going on, he just couldn't-

"Waaaahhh I goooot it!"

Hibari giggled happily as he held up his prize in triumph, standing up on his desk in a classic victorious stance. He stuck it into his mouth.

Then spat it out in disgust.

"Ewwwwieeeeee Kusakabe! It's likeeee disgustingggg! Why'd you make me eaaaatt itttt, Kusa-bakaaaa?"

Kusakabe let out a very long sigh as Hibari jumped down from the desk and pounded his shoulders with uncharacteristically weak fists, his face scrunched up in a pout that Kusakabe never thought he'd live to see.

Then he hiccupped and fell to the floor with a thud.

000

The lump on the couch stirred.

Kusakabe approached it cautiously to find Hibari's steel gray eyes staring into his own.

"… Kyo-san?"

"… Hn."

Kusakabe almost let out a sigh of relief. Thank god his leader seemed to be back to norm-

He halted all thought processes as he felt a hand… _groping_ his hair.

Why was Hibari groping his hair?

"… Hn, your hair… It's quite poofy…" His words and actions definitely did _not_ match up with the steely voice that was usually declaring, "Herbivore, I'll bite you to death."

"… Yes, Kyo-san. It's poofy. And long. That's the whole point of this hairstyle." Kusakabe sighed. He wondered what he had ever done to deserve the not-so-normal events that seemed to happen around him all the time.

"I quite like it. What's the secret? Gel? Wax? Water? Lots of brushwork?"

"A combination of all those…" Kusakabe replied, not sure where this was going.

Hibari said nothing more, but continued to feel his hair from his spot on the couch. Without warning, he suddenly rose to his feet and walked to the mirror that hung on the wall. Staring into it, he started to brush his fingers through his hair, bringing it all towards his forehead.

Kusakabe twitched. If anyone ever saw his leader like this…

He started to walk over to Hibari to try to make him stop behaving so… oddly, but while doing so, he bumped into the desk. He saw a cup fall over, spilling its contents all over the desk and paperwork. Frantically, he gathered up the papers before the green tea could soak them. Sighing, he glanced back at his leader. The prefect was still standing into the mirror, glaring at his reflection as his efforts to get his hair into a pompadour failed- miserably.

Turning his attention back to the desk, he realized the mess wasn't going to go anywhere. Grabbing a towel from the supply closet, he started to meticulously wipe up the spill. A strange scent wafted up to his nose, and he twitched. This did not smell like green tea…

Bending down, he sniffed the liquid more closely. The unmistakable smell of alcohol made Kusakabe want to bang his head against the desk.

His leader was _drunk._

Quickly wiping up the rest of the mess, he turned to his leader- who had given up on his hair and was now staring at Kusakabe's own hair with jealousy- and said, "Kyo-san, stay right here and don't leave the room, alright? I need to go find someone who can… uh… sober you up."

With that he rushed out of the room, saying once again, "Stay right here!"

Hibari stared at the door, then walked slowly out of the room.

000

Somehow, he made it to the roof in his intoxicated state, and plopped himself down, staring up at the blue sky.

"Hibari! Hibari!"

Hibird was circling around him, and Hibari blinked.

Since when did Hibird have children?

Two smaller, yellow fluffballs were trailing behind Hibird, high chirps filling the air.

The trio landed on the concrete beside him, and he stared at them for awhile.

"Hibird, I hope you're taking responsibility," Hibari stated as he glared at his bird, who had the sense to chirp in reply.

"Good. I should name them…"

He stared at the two balls of yellow that sat on either side of Hibird. They stared back, eyes innocent and large.

"… Hn… Hichick," he gestured to the one on the right, "And Hinami," he said as he gazed at the one on the left.

The two baby birds flapped their tiny wings in joy.

Suddenly, movement behind him made him twirl.

He stared and cocked his head to one side at the sight before him.

Those were a lot of pretty swirling pineapples.

He reached out to touch one of them.

It slapped him in the face.

000

Mukuro smiled. Those pineapples hadn't been created by him. Well, not _directly_, anyway. He'd have to add "Hallucinations" to the list of things that what he'd slipped into the Cloud Guardian's drink could do.

"Kufufufu…"

Oh, what a little bit of specially-made alcohol and photo/video evidence would do for him in the future.

He looked forward to tomorrow.

000

**Hibari is a **_**horrible**_** drunk.**

**I'm so sorry, I can't even-**

**I had to take frequent breaks while writing this chapter, because the prefect that I knew and loved totally just… died. And got replaced by a horror from the depths of my imagination that was fueled by wayyy too much tumblr, avengers, a combination of many different anime characters, and lack of sleep. If Tsuna was drunk like this, it would be totally cute. Hibari, on the other hand…. Yeah, gimme a sec, I'm still dying.**

**I hop you guys didn't forget Hibari's awesome, scary, and so-totally-not-drunk-and-embarassing side after you read this. **

**And I pray that he doesn't rise from his pixelated computer imaged self to bite me to painful death.**

**Finals are finally over, summer vacation is about to start. Hopefully, I'll be able to update this and my other fics more. Hopefully….  
>Leave a review? :3<strong>


End file.
